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A came round to my flat mid-afternoon yesterday to see the stuff i’d decided to get rid of. After a short survey of the place, She doubled it.

 

i was quite alarmed initially but now i just want rid of it all. In truth, the sooner i sell up and move in with Her the better; though as She didn’t mention that, i suspect i shall remain in this half-way house quite a bit longer.

 

Sometimes i use the computer to work from home, so that stayed and i still get to my blog for now; but i lost many more of my books and so much more of my music than i expected.  i chose to get rid of the TV myself.

 

Old pictures, gone; lots of old writings, gone; piles of old clothes, gone. It’s pretty empty here now. But still quite comfortable for slave quarters.

 

Some of the stuff i will sell and i’m going to ask if i can use the proceeds to buy something for A’s home. A sub male can never do enough boot-licking, in my view.

paul

i am waiting for A to arrive. She hasn't told me when She'll be here - it may not be until this evening - but i've been up since 07.30 preparing so i don't get caught with my pants down. Anytime now She could ring to say She is on Her way. It's so nerve-wracking, i think i will wet myself the moment i hear the telephone ring.

i thought blogging might take my mind off things but it is just making me feel worse. i'd better go and clean the bathroom again (for the hundredth time)!

paul

A short blog today as i am busy with a major clear-out of my flat this weekend. A has told me to get rid of a lot of my stuff. She says i have far too many possessions for a slave.

 

It’s tough to part with some things but also very liberating. i am hoping that this is the first stage in preparing me to move in permanently with A and Her husband as their house boy.

 

i found my first slave collar yesterday afternoon and decided to put it on for old times sake, along with my first pair of knickers and one of my first pairs of tights. The collar is inscribed “Property of Mistress S”. She was my first Mistress. i took Her on-line postal training course in the nineties and that started me out on the path i'm on now. Fond memories and many thanks to Her.

 

i don’t wear A’s collar at the moment (except figuratively speaking) but i hope i have that to come.

 

Anyway, must crack on as She is coming up to inspect my work tomorrow and i mustn’t be found wanting!  

Recently, A and me discussed the possibility of me changing my surname to Hers by deed poll if i remain in Her ownership.

One complication is that She has already taken Her husband's name, as was more or less expected when they married. We/we were not sure, in view of this, whether i should adopt Her married name or Her original one. The former would be a bold statement showing that i belonged to Her household, but could be taken as indicating allegiance to her husband, while the latter would not make Our/our connection so obvious but would link me directly to Her.

What do O/others think?

paul

Warm wishes to all the ladies on this site on another International Women's Day and here's looking forward hopefully to a year in which more Women than ever before are able to reach their full potential. For more about International Women's day, please visit www.internationalwomensday.com.

paul 

i meant to write about this incident earlier but it was overshadowed by the events of my last blog.

 

It was a Saturday afternoon at A’s house. A’s Daughter, S., was there and i was giving them both a pedicure. It was only the second time i’d done that for both of them together and I consider it a real privilege. i get a little nervous, though,  especially when doing fiddley jobs like painting toenails.

 

The Ladies talked as i worked in silence and A told Her Daughter about my attraction to Our/our colleague, H., and how She had been making me suffer for it. They teased me constantly and when i’d finished, A decided that it would be amusing for Her Daughter to hear me fantasise out loud about H as i had done for A previously.

 

Already kneeling in front of Them both on the lounge carpet as They relaxed in leather armchairs, i began to recount my fantasy. Knowing that i had to be careful to avoid expressing any thoughts that either Lady might disapprove of, i played safe by focussing on H’s feet and footwear (for example, the trainers She wears on Her lunchtime runs and the high-heeled shoes i had seen Her in that week).

 

Recognising the rather obvious source of my inspiration, both Ladies almost groaned in despair at the limitations of my feeble male imagination and started teasing me about my evident obsession with Female feet. Then A had some inspiration of Her own and giving me a little kick in my side to attract my attention, instructed me to play with myself.

 i pulled down the zipper on my trousers, but almost immediately S seemed to recollect something and told me to wait. Reaching for Her bag, She pulled out Her mobile phone which She explained to Her Mother had a camera on it She could use to  film my performance. A clapped Her hands in delight and told me i was going to be a film star! S also mentioned the possibility of posting the finished movie on Youtube, but i think She was just joking. That is, i hope She was just joking!

Pointing Her phone at me, She gestured at me to proceed. Very self-consciously, i pulled out my sad, semi-erect little penis and began to masturbate “to camera” while recounting some pathetic little wet dream about H ordering me to remove Her trainers and gym after Her run and lick the perspiration from Her feet. A wrinkled Her nose in disgust and said “yuk”, though She has had me lick clean Her perspiring feet on more than one occasion and seemed to quite enjoy it.

 

Although my little story (and accompanying actions) caused A and Her Daughter much amusement (judging by their constant giggles), it was not enough to keep me erect and i knew that the longer i took to reach the point of ejaculation, the more likely it was that i’d run out of things to say or worse, say something the Ladies didn’t approve of.

 

Consequently, i was initially very relieved (not to say excited) when S started to use Her bare toes, with the lovely fresh-painted pink nails, to toy with my balls, poking them and lifting them as i wanked my now stiffening cock. i continued with my sweaty gym-sock fantasy and everything seemed to be going fairly well until suddenly i had a lapse of concentration and instead of saying “Please H please” as i meant to i made the fatal mistake of uttering “Please S”.

 

Well, that was it! A was furious. She got up and slapped my face until i heard bells ringing, then marched me off to the downstairs WC and made me put my head down it while She flushed. After that She slammed the door and told me to stay there until She said i could leave. i stayed there, kneeling in front of the bowl with my hair wringing wet, for i don’t know how long (but i’d guess around half an hour), until A finally slid the door open and told me to dry myself and come back in the living room. There had been a towel in the toilet all along but i hadn’t used it as i’d been scared to. i’d sort of assumed i wasn’t allowed to move.

When i came back in i had to hang my head and apologise to S., who made a show of being disgusted, though i got the impression She was struggling to hold back a laugh. As for A, either She was genuinely annoyed or She is an excellent actress. Afterwards, i received a good belting on my behind. It was pretty painful, but what was worse was being made to watch my video over and over while the beating was administered.

 

Now that really was excruciating!

 

Love and Respect to All my lovely Lady readers,

 

paul

A decided some time ago that i was not to submit to Her husband and generally he was not to be involved in Our/our BDSM activities. Lately, however, there has been a shift in the dynamics of Our/our relationship. Increasingly i have been serving them as a couple, though my instructions always come from A.

 

 i am sure that this was at least partly the result of a conscious decision on A’s part as We/we had a discussion a while back in which She was at pains to make clear to me that i had the lowest status in Her household and that She expected me to serve any of Her immediate family should She wish it. She specifically mentioned Her husband (let’s call him “AG”), Her Daughter, and Her son-in-law (who I have actually only met twice).

 

At the same time, She stressed that i would only serve the males as She thought fit; i would not otherwise submit to them.  i wasn’t sure of the full significance of this at the time but an incident that took place last weekend has certainly brought it home to me. In fact, if i had known a year or so ago that it was going to happen, i feel sure that i would not have been able to cope with it and it might have spelt the end of my relationship with A.

 

It was quite late on Saturday night. I was in bed in A’s Daughter’s old room, just drifting off to sleep, when i heard the door handle turn. A appeared at the door saying softly “Hey! Hey!” and beckoning me to get up and follow Her, which i did. i looked toward my clothes but She made a dismissive gesture indicating that i wouldn’t need them. i pointed out that i was completely naked but She just gestured impatiently that it didn’t matter and hurried me along into her bedroom.

 

i am not normally allowed in there except to clean so i knew that something special was likely to happen. When i entered, i saw AG sitting naked on the end of the bed. looking at the floor. i noticed that he had a partial erection.  i immediately felt uncomfortable and my discomfort increased as A had me walk over to him and kneel down in front of him.

“AG wants you to do something for him,” She explained. In fact he didn’t looked like he wanted me to do anything for him; he appeared to be as much under his wife’s control as i was. This seemed to be confirmed when he stood up on Her instructions and moved toward me, so that his semi-erect penis was right in front of my face. i felt a gentle pressure on the back of my head and heard A softly telling me to put his penis in my mouth.

 

i acknowledge that i felt revolted at the thought. This sort of thing was very much a hard limit for me. i have no attraction for males at all – in fact, i think we are disgusting creatures – but on the other hand, A had made it clear that this was something She wanted to happen and i live to please Her.

i am pleased – yes, i am genuinely pleased – to say that i did not disobey Her, though at the same time part of me is appalled at the thought that i actually took another man’s cock in my mouth. A 60 year old man, at that. And of course it didn’t stop there.

A had me use my tongue to stimulate AG to full erection and then had me suck him to completion. This took some time as initially my ministrations were unenthusiastic and ineffectual and Her husband’s erection kept subsiding, but eventually i think we both realised that unless we both gave the act our full commitment we could be at it all night. This was not on, partly because i wanted it over with as quickly as possible and more importantly because A was growing impatient at my incompetent fellatio.

 

As i sensed him reaching a climax, i went to remove his penis from my mouth and take my head away, but as i did so i heard A whispering “No” and felt Her hand on the back of my head again, urging me forward as AG guided his penis back in my mouth. Then i felt both their hands pushing my head as his hips jerked forward. i resisted momentarily but then gave in and felt his warm semen spurting against the back of my throat.

 

i shudder at the memory but i swallowed, like a good boy, to please my Mistress. And She was pleased. Afterwards, She had me kiss his feet and say “Thank You”. i wasn’t allowed to kiss Hers as my mouth was dirty. She then sent me to the bathroom to clean up. When I got in there i started to shiver and become tearful. i recognised this as the first signs of shock. Fortunately, A checked up on me and when She saw how i was, She sat with me a while and held me.

 

She even asked me if She had gone too far. Of course, i told Her she hadn’t, it was my fault i wasn’t ready. Naturally, She agreed! i had to be ready to serve Her in any way She wanted, whether i found it distasteful or not. Still, She appreciated that it had been a bit of an ordeal for me.

 

It turned out that AG, who had been drinking earlier, had tried to persuade A to fellate him, something She doesn’t like to do. To teach him a lesson, She decided that I would do it for Her!

i thought I would feel ashamed about this but i don’t. i wouldn’t want to tell my Mother about it, but i am quite proud that i did it for Mistress without make too much of a fuss. Quite proud that i sucked a man’s cock for Her and would do it again whenever She wanted.

paul 

It is a mark of A’s ingenuity that She has contrived to turn my attraction to another Lady into a tool to torment me, give Her pleasure and take Her control of me into a whole new dimension.

 

i explained a couple of blogs ago how it came about that i was required to tell A about every contact with H and every thought and feeling i have relating to Her. This includes giving detailed accounts of any fantasies i have about Her.

 

These sessions are intense and erotic, but also quite scary because i know that what i say is likely to make A angry, but i have to say it because i have to tell the truth. While I tell Her (depending on the circumstances of the telling). She has me look Her straight in the eye. She looks at me contemptuously and sometimes interrupts me with sarcastic or belittling comments, or perhaps little kicks and slaps.

 Afterwards (again, depending on the circumstances, this may be immediately afterwards or a day or so later), i am spanked, belted or caned. Once i had to make my confession while being belted. i know that the sessions arouse A because on more than one occasion it has ended with cunnilungus.

Yesterday, i delivered my confession during a walk in the woods near A’s home. I was half-way through recounting a fantasy about serving H when A ushered me into the trees and told me to kneel on the ground with my face over a muddy puddle. As soon as i was in position, She told me to continue with my account. As i did so, however, She placed Her boot on the back of my head and pushed my face into the puddle!

 

She told me to keep talking and i tried, but with my face pressing into the mud all i could do was make silly grunting noises. i thought that She would let me up again after a couple of seconds but She didn’t. After a while (it was probably no more than thirty seconds but it felt much, much longer), i panicked and started to push back against Her foot so i could lift my head up.

 

This was partly because i was having difficulty breathing and partly because I was afraid someone would see Us/us.

 

A pushed down and forbade me to move, at the same time reassuring me that if i kept still She would let me up shortly. i decided to submit and let my face sink back deep into the muddy ground. As soon as She felt me relax and give in to the pressure of her foot, She released the pressure and let me up.

 

We/we were not seen, though as We/we rejoined the path a Lady walking Her dog caught me wiping the mud off my face and hair with a tissue. She gave me a curious look as She acknowledged Us/us both and A, seeing Her curiosity, grinned and told Her i’d just had a mud-bath!

 

When We/we got back to the house, We/we went up to “my” room and i went over a chair for a belting on my bare behind. This was one of the occasions my punishment was followed by a session of pleasuring A with my tongue. i was actually quite aroused myself, but there was no question of me being allowed release. 

As i don’t want to have to confess anything that is likely to make A really angry or disgusted with me, i have started censoring my own fantasies (to the extent that that is possible). For example, there is an act which i often fantasise about submitting to which i know She would find disgusting and therefore i have not allowed myself to have that fantasy in relation to H.

 

Effectively, this means that A is now controlling some of my most private and personal thoughts. Again, scary, but also a very positive development. As Her property i want to be exactly how She wants me to be. Any aspect of me that does not meet with Her approval is an anomaly and just has to go..

Finally, i am aware that i haven’t mentioned M for a time (my Malaysian penpal who proposed to me).  i am still in touch with Her and expecting Her to come to the Uk in the Spring, but after last year’s disappointment i’m trying not to build my hopes up. i am also still having doubts about whether We/we are suitably matched. i am not even sure any more whether i should have a long-term partner. Part of me wants one, but part of me just wants to stay as A’s slave for the rest of my life, looking after Her in old age. 

paul

Rummaging through my cupboards over the Christmas period, i came across (no pun intended) an old FemDom magazine, probably the first i ever bought. It was filled with pictures of Ladies in basques and boots, posing with whips, fairly typical of its time. Even then (i would have been a teenager when i bought it, long before i ever acknowledged myself as a sub), much of it would have done nothing for me, but i remember the letters at least spoke to me of a world i was fascinated by and attracted to. 

 

That got me thinking back to my teenage years, in particular going to Soho with my “mates” and (after a drinking session) visiting the sex shops looking at the magazines. It occurred to me that when we first started doing that, i never used to hide my preferences for the FemDom magazines. i believe i had this naïve expectation that everyone else be as attracted to them as i was, as it seemed so natural to me. i couldn’t understand why the others would be looking at crude close-ups of female genitalia, or silly pictures of Women pretending to be ecstatic about holding one of their own breasts, or perhaps being ogled by the slavering male reader wanking over them.

 

Interestingly, while i could not convert my friends i received very little criticism from them either, at least initially. It was only when my preferences were discussed outside our immediate circle that there were negative reactions and i started to experience hostility and ridicule. Then i started to hide my desires and they stayed hidden until relatively recently.

 

Interesting that my desires should have seemed so natural to me until others tried to persuade me otherwise.

The magazine? Well, it might still be going and i don't want to advertise on its behalf but if anyone is interested, mail me and i'll tell You/you.

paul

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