I think most people into the lifestyle to some degree are living with a secret. This being a secret from your family be it a spouse, children , other close  relatives mother , father brother ,sister or your friends,neighbour  and employer. I think even those who are very open with their lifestyle are still holding it secret from someone they know. I know for me it is very hard to keep something i enjoy so much from people i know and care about. So my question to everyone is how do you feel about your choice of lifestyle that for whatever reason you have to enjoy it without including all those around you?. I personally would love to be able to wear whatever i want when i want but we all know this is not possible in all cases without being segregated from the people you know or worse yet dismissed from a job

Actually I'm very very open about the lifestyle, I do not "force" it on folks, but I also do not hide who I am either.  I don't shove My likes/desires in people's faces, nor do I expose the "play" aspect to My kids, even though they are all over 18.  They all know Im a Domme, they all know Im in the lifestyle, they all know Im a Crazy Bitch lololol.  As does the rest of My family. 

After years of being what everyone else wanted, I learned happiness is being ME, so that's My motto... what you see, is what you get...  just plain ole Me, nothing less, nothing more.

MsQueenEvil[BR wrote: After years of being what everyone else wanted, I learned happiness is being ME, so that's My motto... what you see, is what you get...  just plain ole Me, nothing less, nothing more.

Same for me. Not being the "real" Me resulted in failed relationships/marriages but not anymore! Pretty much all my immediate family knows my lifestyle, some know to more extent. I'm proud to say in sharing my lifestyle with my sister, she saved her marriage by letting her Domme side OUT, which was exactly what her hubby was needing. They're having a great marriage now with them both in their correct places!!! You never know who you may be helping by sharing! xoxo

Personally for Me , all My friends and family know I am a Domme and that I live the lifestyle. It hasn't been an issue . There were the curious who wanted to know why and what I do. Lots of questions and I was more than happy to answer them.  I am who I am take Me as I am or fuck you. lol 

Although I am very open with friends and family.... I do understand the need for others to keep it quiet.  Not everyone is accepting or understanding of folks with different ways of living.  Jobs could be in jeopardy, families could be destroyed... I think the best way to know, is by knowing your friends and family.  Small talk that brings a "bdsm-D/s" type of topic up, just to get a feel for how they may react. 

I never hold it against anyone, when they feel the need to keep things "hush hush"... everyone deals with things their own way, My way is NOT the right way for everyone.  It's what works for Me.  I do encourage those who are married, to try to be honest with their mates... bring the topic up in general terms, get an idea of what they think about it, etc... but, yet again, it's NOT for every marriage, thats for damn sure. 

Society can be very harsh and mean, then again so can folks that are right here within the lifestyle.  Not everyone has an open mind, can accept others' kinks, etc... My advice is to always go about it at a slow pace at first, get a feel for how others may think/feel, if you're unsure... then go with your gut instincts.  IF you don't feel comfortable, how can they?

Well i see that the Dommes who have replied to this all have about the same thoughts on the subject. Now im wondering if it is easier for Dommes to be more upfront and open to people they know then it is for submmisives? I do hope to hear from more Dommes  but sure would like to also hear from the submmisve side of it as well.

Well, I for one think it's quite a bit easier to to be open about one's dominant characteristics than to confess to being submissive ... especially for a male!
Our culture endorses the assertive, dominant ideal; it scorns the feminine, submissive male.   As a young boy the worst insult that could be hurled at you was to call you a "sissy".
For that reason, we sissies hide (and dress) in the closet.  If we were bold enough to come out, or if we were 'forced' out, and if the vanilla world saw how many of us there are, maybe attitudes would change.  After all, the world is full of doctors, lawyers, CEOs and jocks who wear panties and petticoats.   If all of us came out, maybe we wouldn't have to keep such stressful secrets.
Still, being a hidden sissy is better than not being one at all! 

I agree lacey, for male submissives it is a bit more difficult.  Too often male submissives are seen as gay, or weak, which is WRONG!  But that is how society sees things.

Hell even within the lifestyle, many male Doms are threatened by male submissives, because they think they're "gay".  Which always makes Me laugh.  A male submissive is just what it says... a submissive male.  Straights, gays, bi's and those that are still unsure, virgins, etc.... there is NO one type of submissive male, just like there is NO one type of Domme, one type of Dom or one type of female submissive, EVERYONE is different! 

Embrace the differences :)

We all live with secrets in our life, and yes till recently being a sissy was mine.  It is alot easier that it is no longer a secret.  Do I go around proclaiming it, the answer is no i don't but if asked i now have no problem saying YES