First, I'm the type of person who believes most people who don't choose to be single are lonely. Largely because I can explain the evolutionary psychology, biology and chemistry behind it...and I watch people. Now, a question to bare the human we try to be.

Have you ever engaged in a vanilla relationship knowing your partner was vanilla? Did you do this to keep away the ghosts of lonliness? Did this interfere and even oppress your kinky side? Was the sacrifice worth it? Would you call it a sacrifice or compromise? And most importantly, are you happy?

I'm also the type of person where I won't engage in a vanilla relationship knowing the other party is vanilla. This is largely because I believe in creating and forging happiness with the right person. Time is too little to spend it with someone who doesn't have a real chance with making it last. Some of commented I ask too much, but I think happiness is one of those things shouldn't be something you barter with. Familial obligations is an exception in my book, but that's another topic.

 Cheers.

I have been staying away from vanilla dating and seeking in BDSM circles only for several years. However, I am open to the idea of casually dating a vanilla woman, not so much for sake of loneliness but for sake of thinking that non-exclusive dating for sake of good company has value. 

And if I date a vanilla woman, I am more likely to date one who seems as if she might be open-minded and open to trying something new. Fortunately, one of my main areas of interest--service--leaves room to dabble in things.

As for a song for the lonely, I vote top place for How Soon is Now by The Smiths. When I paid attention to the lyrics, it immediately became clear why it's popular in goth clubs ;-)

Cheers,

Sea

There is so much in life that we often meet people we want to know better for other reasons. I've never given thought to being lonely - I'm sure it isn't just being alone. But I do make a special effort to be with others of like mind when it comes to kink.

And if we're going to put it to song, I'll take Roy Orbison "Only the Lonely" ... but mostly cuz his music is cool.