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When real life gets in the way..
Posted On 02/18/2008 02:09:02 by WickedAngel

I ended up in the middle of a conversation the other day when a femsub was asking how to spice up her relationship with her Dom.  She said his real life was busy, his business had him working late and they haven't had much time together and she missed his beatings and play etc.

What I heard in that conversation was alot of "I" ... she wanted, she  thought, she needed. Do note I have heard this from male subs as well. Real life does get in our way sometimes ..lol!! But what I went about reminding her was that her serving to him  was not just about play, sex, or even her.

Of course this  set off alot of conversation about the D/s relationship.  There are times when we are busy, tired, sick, etc and the fun/play side of the relationship takes a back seat. To Me, that is when a good sub truely shows who they are and how valuable they are to Me... by supporting Me through those times and not putting themselves first. Then it comes down to serving your Dom/me .. which IMHO has nothing to do with play or sex or S&M but the real core to what submission means.

Nothing is sweeter then watching a submissive freely and happily serve thier Dom/me. That can be many small things in our lives and is the heart of the beauty of submission.

I have read with interest other blogs about "the gift" of submission and power exchange.  There is no limit how deep and intense this relationship can be. The only limits are those of imagination, heart, passion, intention and spirit.

In serving us through the real life daily stuff and through the hard times, is when I have seen the best submissive heart, strength and passion.  Such a beautiful thing to see.. I could pick no other life!!

Tags: Serving Play Nilla Bdsm






Viewing 1 - 4 out of 4 Comments

From: indian_girlyboy
11/09/2008 06:56:23

i soooo love your blog entries, this is among the cutest. very sweet and directly routes to the heart. They are so realistic and down to earth, something one can relate to.


at your feet


girlyboy

From: WickedAngel
02/18/2008 14:46:32

All My favorite Ladies as always!!

In the end, with this one submissive - I told her to acknowledge her full submissive side and to serve him well. I also told her if it were Me, I would always be open to a sub approacing me to talk, and hear what they have to say. She can acknowledge his life and tell him she is there for him in any way and even that she misses him in other areas. She was clear he was not ignoring her, but missing the fun stuff.

But hell, when times are tough NONE of us find it fun!! And I agree with Sin, for Me, these relationships MUST involve all aspects in and out of the dungeon so to speak. Common ground is very important.

As I think about Me growing older (oops new thread coming lol) .. I know this life is under My skin and will be a part always.. even if I am chasing them around in the old age home, from My wheelchair holding My whip! lolol..

hugs

From: MistressMadame
02/18/2008 12:01:41
wow, nice blog!  thanks for sharing you insight. :)

From: SultrySin
02/18/2008 11:05:30
I've probably told this story before, but some lessons that others convey to me sometimes stick hard.  A good male Dom friend used to complain to me that he wanted a woman that would submit to him in every way.  He wanted a slave so badly he could taste it.  Then one day he met a woman he took in as his slave.  She was very obedient and did everything he asked.  He was elated that he had finally found "the one". 

He worked alot of hours, came home tired, their playtime was not as often as they both probably would have liked.  He gave her a list of chores daily to take care of as he went off to work.  More and more he began to notice that she would not complete the tasks he had given her.  He had to work hard all day then come home and discipline/punish her because she had not done what he had asked.

On a friday night, he took her to a restaurant for dinner.  He asked her what she would like to eat so he could order.  She replied "whatever would please you Master".  He said to her "NO I asked what YOU would like".  Again she had the same reply. 

He came to the realization that she was not completing her chores because he was not giving her the attention she needed.  Yes, she was topping from the bottom.  He realized he wanted someone he could have a conversation with over dinner, or at the end of the day and not have to feel the pressure of "always" being the Dom.   Yes, real life got in the way when he realized that life goes on and its not always about playing. 

I would say this falls in the catagory of be careful what you wish for.  D/s life just like everything else is balance.



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