Having read and heard of some of the things that have been going on in the last few days here, I felt compelled to write about it.

I spent a few constructive hours learning about the history of BDSM and the leather movement and how it grew up from the traditions of the army.  One of the things that became abundantly clear to me, and has subsequently been reinforced through my experiences is this: touch another Dom/me's sub/slave at your peril.  If you have any complaints about the behaviour it is the responsibility of and a reflection on the Dom/me concerned.  Subs are human as well, and do (whether they intend to or not) get up others' noses.  For another Dom/me to then decide to bitch-slap that owned sub is beyond the pale.

If you want the socio-historic context, it is the same as looking after your own troops.  The discipline of your troops reflects positively and negatively on you as an officer, and if you do not command them, then tradition and well, quite frankly good manners demand you report that behaviour which will then be apologised for, thanked for bringing to their attention and dealt with by the officer concerned. 

Although the need for discipline to save lives and win battles is not perfectly analagous within the BDSM context, there is still a battle to be fought and won: that of the right to enjoy our lifestyle which has historically been condemned by mainstream society.  The discipline needed by our forefathers in the second World War is needed by us to maintain a united front against the radical Right of society who would condemn and have imprisoned our brothers and sisters for living the way we have chosen to do so.  For those of you who scoff, I refer you to R v Spanner.  Therefore if we cannot present that united front by living our code of respect and self-discipline then we cannot unite when it really matters: when our right to enjoy this broad church we call our lifestyle is threatened.

What is the mantra I hear whenever BDSM is discussed?  Your kink is not my kink.  What does that really really mean?  It means that although your choices are not the ones that I make, I respect and support your right to make them.  This means that we must also respect each other.  Respect, though, needs to be earned, and manners go a long way here in making the Madame*.  Sisters, we earn the right to be called Dommes through our comportment and behaviour.  Our actions are echoed through the words we use on these forums.  Here, where our powers must be defined by the words we use, we must remember to respect each other and respect ourselves, else we are Paper Dommes and are as insignificant as a keystroke on a computer screen to which a judiciously applied delete button may be applied.

I therefore say that manners demand we inform the Domme of an errant, owned sub, and by not interfering with that sub, we will not stamp a stilleto through the feet of those who should be our greatest allies.

Bright blessings on you all,

Gloriana

*(not a barb aimed at you MistressMadame, but I felt that a little alliterration would not go amiss.  Bright Blessings, Glory)